I wasn’t ready for him. I wasn’t ready for his love, his kindness, his compassion. But he came into my life anyway, and every day since then I have been ready to fiercely love him for the rest of my life.
Before him, I felt as though every relationship I was in made me feel like my heart was shrinking. And I didn’t let people in, it was hard for me to recognize love, and slowly but surely, as cheesy as it sounds, I felt like the grinch.
I met my husband when I was 18 years old, and I was out of the nest for 3 whole days. I had plans for what I thought my future would be. But when I saw this tall blonde kid walk into the volleyball game I was at, I knew it was the end of life as I knew it.
I tried to push away my feelings for him, I was only 18! I had college to experience, I had things I wanted to do and places I wanted to go. I didn’t have time for my heart to be swept away so quickly.
But then he would talk to me. He would look me in the eyes and as Tyler Knott Gregson said:
- “I would like to say you made me weak in the knees, but to be completely truthful, you make my body forget it has knees at all.”
This man, who came into my life so quickly, made me feel like there was never enough time with him. His kindness flooded my life, and I never knew the love I could feel, all the way down to my toes!
He rescued me from a world without him. He saved me from my self doubts. And I wasn’t ready to be saved. I thought I had to go through a personal revelation to cure myself of all my former mistakes, and the cheetah girls always taught me that I didn’t need a prince to come save me.
BUT HE DID. He waited at the bottom of my tower (well my apt. 4 stories high) and waited for me. He tore away every stubborn wall I had attempted to put up. And every day I ran to my window smiling happy that he was there!
So no. I wasn’t ready to be loved as fervently as I am. I wasn’t ready to meet such an amazing man. And I’m sure he wasn’t ready for me. I know it may be hard to believe but I can be a bit much. But it happened. And as I look back, I wish I would have met him sooner. Because that means I would have loved him sooner, I would have felt the purest kind of happiness sooner, and the almost 365 days that I’ve looked into his eyes haven’t been long enough.
Every experience he made better, all my plans he made better, my future is brighter than I ever thought possible. I still plan to go all the places I want to, but I get to go hand in hand with him. I look back at the future I had planned before him, and it makes me more than thankful that my love became my future so abruptly.
I may not have been ready to feel so loved, but the Lord had other plans.
And here I am feeling like I was the Grinch, because the day I met Tanner, my heart grew 3 sizes that day.
If you want to hear our whole story, here it is. By Lance Perry